Tuesday, March 27, 2012

Sleepy...

It's a little ironic that newborns sleep 18-20 hours/day yet momma sleeps 3-4 hours/day. I'm a walking zombie, but somehow I still get butterflies when it's time to feed her/cuddle her. However, in the middle of the night(last night) was a different story. If you were a fly on the wall, you would see me walking with my arms out in front of me, walking like Frankenstein to Janie's room. Then, you would see me try to pick Janie up with one hand quickly waking up to realize this ain't no dream and decide to use 2 hands. Then, you would see me carry her to the rocker and try to sleep while she eats only to find myself on Pinterest and Facebook on my phone wondering who else is awake, but not really caring. Then, you would see me trying to switch sides to feed on the other side only to have Janie puke her brains out all over me and herself because I couldn't get a good burp out of her. (Probably because I thought I was patting her back but really wasn't.) Then, you would see the room spinning and lights on and off again and some crying and screaming from Janie and some praying out loud from me and Buddy coming in and out and then me again and a diaper change and then an outfit change. Then, after 3 hours, and one last effort before I let her cry it out...I held her again. This time a little closer and a little tighter with a little more love. And this time, you would see tears streaming down my face because of the joy it was to finally get her sleep and even though she left me at a point of complete exhaustion that I haven't felt before, I felt the strongest feeling of pure love for this precious little girl. I'm thankful for that moment. I think God knew it was my breaking point. I can't wait for the day that I get to sleep through the night again.


5 comments:

Shantay said...

Awe that was a beautiful post she will love reading that someday. Being a mom is so hard, but so worth it!

paulnmea said...

Oh no. I keep getting anxiety attacks just thinking of the sleepless phase. I hope you get some much needed rest this weekend.

The Baldwin's said...

Jen I'm sorry you're not sleeping, I feel so sorry for you! Remember this too shall pass :) so proud of you! You are a beautiful and caring mommy!

Kenzie said...

Next time call me! I'm serious I'm up with Hoyter boy anyway so I'll come snuggle her and you can rest!

Sarah Ball said...

right there with ya! they are so precious and worth it in every way and yet can be so exhausting and hard to be a mommy.